heh, read my entry last night again. i rily let it out didnt i. it was all the not sleeping doin the talking. all the while i had that one person on my mind. things i so wanna say, but dont have the guts to..for fear of making his liver small (kecikkn hati). but im glad i got to say all that. i dont think i was fully concious of what i was doing. haha
however, the person i hope would read this, never will kot.
oh well.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
out of the bag
its 6 am and im all messed up
no,its only 3 am, and im not messed up. that was a line from a song i like. can u tell im bored?
cant sleep. my eyes are closing down but my brains going full speed. lotsa things running thru.
a good fren of my sister killed himself recently. tragic. he's been depressed for quite awhile. but it was a slow process. started with the family probs. parents abondaning him. turned to alcohol. he has great friends,but even frens cant replace ur family. eventually all his frens had their own lives. they checked on him all the time. but then again, in his head, he had nobody. =( he didnt have religion. and that is the one most important thing in life.he didnt believe in God. and when you dont have that, you dont have anything really. cause there is the possibilty of every single important person in your life to leave u, even when u try to hold on to them. but never will He. and He is the ONE u can turn to for anything. the ONLY one u can 100% trust. the BEST person to turn to for advice. its sad that alot of us know this, we have access to it 24/7, but we forget. the answer is always right there in front of us. but why then do some of us choose to ignore it. we choose not to knock on that door. we choose not to open up that book. we homosapiens always want the easy way out. we want something tangible. we want the answer to come immediately right on our doorstep. we want it our way and we want it now. we think so highly of ourselves that we think we know whats best for us.
yes, a tad emo there. its just that his death was kind of a slap to my face. waking me up. he was a rily rily rily nice guy. he didnt feel he had much to live for in this world, so he took his life, maybe hoping he might have something more in the nxt life, or maybe just because he was tired of it all =(
the thing is, all of us still living today..we have SO much to be grateful for. we have family, friends who we know love us. and insyaAllah alot of us have faith in God. we have good food. we have good weather. our loved ones dont get bombed tibe2. we have the oppurtunity to better ourselves each day. so why do we say this is not enough? why do we demand for more? what is it that we want actually? why do we see all that we dont have, instead of fixating,being grateful, thankful, loving and enjoy all the many many many things that He has bestowed on us. can we ever be thankful enough? i dont think so, and yet He still showers us with the niagra falls of blessings.
lets try embracing as much of evrything we have, maybe then we can find some peace.
=) wow, i feel so much better letting that out.
no,its only 3 am, and im not messed up. that was a line from a song i like. can u tell im bored?
cant sleep. my eyes are closing down but my brains going full speed. lotsa things running thru.
a good fren of my sister killed himself recently. tragic. he's been depressed for quite awhile. but it was a slow process. started with the family probs. parents abondaning him. turned to alcohol. he has great friends,but even frens cant replace ur family. eventually all his frens had their own lives. they checked on him all the time. but then again, in his head, he had nobody. =( he didnt have religion. and that is the one most important thing in life.he didnt believe in God. and when you dont have that, you dont have anything really. cause there is the possibilty of every single important person in your life to leave u, even when u try to hold on to them. but never will He. and He is the ONE u can turn to for anything. the ONLY one u can 100% trust. the BEST person to turn to for advice. its sad that alot of us know this, we have access to it 24/7, but we forget. the answer is always right there in front of us. but why then do some of us choose to ignore it. we choose not to knock on that door. we choose not to open up that book. we homosapiens always want the easy way out. we want something tangible. we want the answer to come immediately right on our doorstep. we want it our way and we want it now. we think so highly of ourselves that we think we know whats best for us.
yes, a tad emo there. its just that his death was kind of a slap to my face. waking me up. he was a rily rily rily nice guy. he didnt feel he had much to live for in this world, so he took his life, maybe hoping he might have something more in the nxt life, or maybe just because he was tired of it all =(
the thing is, all of us still living today..we have SO much to be grateful for. we have family, friends who we know love us. and insyaAllah alot of us have faith in God. we have good food. we have good weather. our loved ones dont get bombed tibe2. we have the oppurtunity to better ourselves each day. so why do we say this is not enough? why do we demand for more? what is it that we want actually? why do we see all that we dont have, instead of fixating,being grateful, thankful, loving and enjoy all the many many many things that He has bestowed on us. can we ever be thankful enough? i dont think so, and yet He still showers us with the niagra falls of blessings.
lets try embracing as much of evrything we have, maybe then we can find some peace.
=) wow, i feel so much better letting that out.
Friday, March 28, 2008
banana pie
been a while..nothing to blog about. but lots of unwanted incidents have happened these past few weeks.reading alot of emotional entries. its probably the stress getting to us.anyway, to my beloved friends out there who i have tried to console, but i know i didnt do much to ease ur problems =( all i can say is that my ears r always free =)
heres something that makes me feel better everytime i read it, hope it has the same effect on u guys =)
heres something that makes me feel better everytime i read it, hope it has the same effect on u guys =)
ALLAH'S PLANS
some things are beyond planning
and life doesnt always turn out as planned
you dont plan for a broken heart
you dont plan for an autistic child
you dont plan for spinsterhood
you dont plan for a lump in your breast
you plan to be young forever
you plan to climb the corporate ladder
you plan to be rich and powerful
you plan to be acclaimed and successful
you plan to conquer the universe
you plan to fall in love~ and be loved forever
you dont plan to be sad
you dont plan to be hurt
you dont plan to be broke
you dont plan to be betrayed
you dont plan to be alone in this world
you plan to be happy
you dont plan to be shattered
sometimes if you work hard enough
you can get what you want
but MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things
we,mortals, plan.
but so does Allah in the heavens
sometimes, it is difficult to understand Allah's plans
especially when His plans are not in accordance with ours
often, when He sends us crisis,
we turn to him in anger.
true, we cannot choose what Allah wishes us to carry
but we can carry it with courage
knowing that He'll never abandon us
nor send us something we cannot cope with
sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul
sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole
sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger
sometimes, Allah sends us failure so we can be humble
sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
and sometimes, Allah takes everything away from us
so we can learn the value of everything He gave us
make plans, but understand that we live by Allah's grace
and rmbr , people need love even when they dont deserve it .. (a topic for another time..heh)
esk exam! haha yes,im good at diverting myself from studying =p
oh,and my title doesnt have anything to do with this post, just rase cam nak mkn banana pie sgt2 right now .. or pengat..or banana cake..or lepat pisang..or..hmmm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
