its 6 am and im all messed up
no,its only 3 am, and im not messed up. that was a line from a song i like. can u tell im bored?
cant sleep. my eyes are closing down but my brains going full speed. lotsa things running thru.
a good fren of my sister killed himself recently. tragic. he's been depressed for quite awhile. but it was a slow process. started with the family probs. parents abondaning him. turned to alcohol. he has great friends,but even frens cant replace ur family. eventually all his frens had their own lives. they checked on him all the time. but then again, in his head, he had nobody. =( he didnt have religion. and that is the one most important thing in life.he didnt believe in God. and when you dont have that, you dont have anything really. cause there is the possibilty of every single important person in your life to leave u, even when u try to hold on to them. but never will He. and He is the ONE u can turn to for anything. the ONLY one u can 100% trust. the BEST person to turn to for advice. its sad that alot of us know this, we have access to it 24/7, but we forget. the answer is always right there in front of us. but why then do some of us choose to ignore it. we choose not to knock on that door. we choose not to open up that book. we homosapiens always want the easy way out. we want something tangible. we want the answer to come immediately right on our doorstep. we want it our way and we want it now. we think so highly of ourselves that we think we know whats best for us.
yes, a tad emo there. its just that his death was kind of a slap to my face. waking me up. he was a rily rily rily nice guy. he didnt feel he had much to live for in this world, so he took his life, maybe hoping he might have something more in the nxt life, or maybe just because he was tired of it all =(
the thing is, all of us still living today..we have SO much to be grateful for. we have family, friends who we know love us. and insyaAllah alot of us have faith in God. we have good food. we have good weather. our loved ones dont get bombed tibe2. we have the oppurtunity to better ourselves each day. so why do we say this is not enough? why do we demand for more? what is it that we want actually? why do we see all that we dont have, instead of fixating,being grateful, thankful, loving and enjoy all the many many many things that He has bestowed on us. can we ever be thankful enough? i dont think so, and yet He still showers us with the niagra falls of blessings.
lets try embracing as much of evrything we have, maybe then we can find some peace.
=) wow, i feel so much better letting that out.
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11 comments:
a human is still a human..
yes God will be there for you..
but God created the "human touch" special for us..
what i'm trying to say is,, u need both to stay humane..
faith in God n that human touch...
as for that guy.. pity him..he failed to realize that something good is waiting for him..
depression needs medication - n that is ur job tosh in the future
hehe..of cos u need both niza. God created us for each other. =) and i love the human relationship. i love the feelings He created for us to feel, although we abuse it most of the time. thats when something as sacred and special as love and friendship can turn a totaly different thing altogether. thats what we do when He gives us great gifts, we always manage to somehow turn it into something that seems beautiful to us, but horrible in God's eyes. what im trying to say is, in the end, if u have God with u, u wont ever lose out. but theres no guarantee for that if u just have mane2 human frens. i have faith in humanity..like gandhi ckp..humanity is an ocean,one drop of ink wont make the whole ocean dirty..or sumthing along that lines.haha..
and the guy did go for medication. for quite awhile actually. but there are times u cant counteract depression with just medication. u need something more. im just sad that no one was rily there to give it to him.
i dont want to be a psychiatrist pls..haha thats u dewa. hah
sorry to have woken u up.
but yeah, im glad i realized it early.
we learn life lessons as we go by.
:)
yes we do =)
thx for the concern btw..hehe..dpt la u dgr suare sexy i..its gone =(
jumpe mlm nnt ya
i guess i dont hv enuff faith like all of u, haha. maybe coz i havent been getting anything from almost all the major sources. it's easier to say when u hv at least one person that matters most by ur side. but being alone since u were a kid doesn't help a lot. u start losing faith time after time. And when u about to gain some faith and stand on both ur feet again, things strike for the worst. Thats when u think u rily cant get up. its not the matter of being contented. its the matter of 'why things cant be this way?"
Maybe u'd say 'why cant u get up? why cant u believe? why cant u forget? why cant u be grateful?"
well lets just put it this way.
Human beings get tired after some time
Haha. But being at ur shoes, tosh, I think that's something that a lot of people will trade with. Urself having so much faith :)
im very sad am i. haha i know i am
dear turtleku,
i worry about u the most maybe becos i love u the most.
and its sad that u still cant see what im trying to say. i get tired too. u know i do. but i choose to not be tired all the time because of all u guys. it kinda hurts when u try to be there all the time but its not enuff. noe wat i mean?
its not a really nice feeling when u think u've done all u can, and u dah xtau nak buat ape dah..and u think u might have reached her a lil bit, but its like she never even listened to a word u said.
its like as if all of us dont really matter at all..
now thats sad
~and to be grateful,u dont really need faith. u just need to look around u. not far ahead at the things u dont have. just try focusing on the ones u have.
i guess so. thnx faran.
to let ppl know they matter is the other thing, isnt it?
thnx for letting me know I at least place a litte piece in ur heart. c u at school!
xnak jadik psychiatrist!
i guess it is hard to understand everyone...
as for the medication.. there is one thing that is important too.. compliancy.. haha
just like a prayer.. u need to be consistent..
then it will work like a charm..rite?
i guess complacent is a very jahanam word.
always strrrrrike for the best!
no matter what happens. fuhh.
trust must be earned, but faith to me, can be easily possessed if you search deeper.
provided that u have the right person guiding you towards it.
:)
and knowing this place and the people here, i dont think my adik will ever run outta those kinda people.
tosh, u took the words right outa my mind.
your adik has done searching pinko. and she will search no more. bcause shes accepting and dats how things should be. be happy!hoho
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