liku-liku hidup

so anis is on the bus on the way to JB! it seems he had to go thru a lot of 'liku-liku hidup' to get on the bus. hahahaha. drama king that he is. have yet to hear the liku-liku. and so now i have to belanje him. haha. dun mind though. have nab's money.wakakaka

2nite baem n shafiq reaching. 2mrw bringing them around jb with sara. naseb baik ade driver. haha. they want to go to the best places in jb. the ones ive been raving about. the thing is ~ the only best place in jb is my house. hah! particularly my room. =p

guess it'll just be the 2nd best places. Cs? danga bay. ape lg ek? jusco! hmm..oh will bring them to jln dobi. the place with all the mak nyahs. and the best chicken chop.hah. lets focus on the chicken chop je la =p

thoughts to.. ponder on?..ponder upon?

read this. loved it. sharing it.

life is a continuous process of growth and decay. although God presents us with innumerable opportunities to receive guidance, He also allows us to err and to stray. It is by trial and error and by realizing and rising above our mistakes that we learn and progress to higher levels of goodness, thus error, if self-discovered and repented of sincerely, can lead ultimately to a higher state:

"For him who repents, and believes, and does what is right-those, God will change their evil deeds into good deeds, for God is ever All-forgiving, All-compassionate" (25:70)

Our spirituality would stagnate without the potential for error, realization, and reform. So vital are these to our development in this earthly stage, that the prophet (SAW) reported that if mankind ceased sinning, God would replace it by another creation that would continue to sin and repent to gain His forgiveness. (muslim)

and my favourite ~
"When you approach God by an arm's length, He approaches you by two and if you come to Him walking, He comes to you running "

beautiful isnt it. and yet so many of us forget, and take Him for granted. we forget to repent. we forget to be thankful. myself included.

Ps/ to my cacat friend out there, this post is especially for you. just remember that the door to repentance is always always open to you. and He loves u more than anyone ever could. so why not salurkan all your love to Him. its the only type of love that i can guarantee will be reciprocated and can only lead to happiness =)) insyaAllah..

of love ~ lalalaaa

quote of the day

"love is like an onion. u peel layer after stinking layer until u're left weeping at the sink"

hahahahhahahahhaha from 30 rock.

dont know why i found it so freakin funny. but i was laughing till i cried. and long after evryone else had stopped laughing. haha. sick?

i think i have too much free time on my hands right now. its getting to my head. =p

plain happy

yesterday a wise friend (cehh..) told me to 'give urself a break'..'jgn asek pk org je'..'dun feel guilty just becos ure feeling the happines'..

today i decided to take her advice =)

so im very selfish today. n very very happy =D

counting my blessings. nothing to complain about. wish evryone was feeling the same

plain happiness

=D

simple pleasures

im back in beautiful beautiful JB =)

woke up late. ate good home food. with tempe! havent had that in toooo long. and the tempe they have at terminal are usually stale or overcooked. yucks. then i just lepaked with my sisters n mom n dad n bro n bro in-law. then after dinner, they watched a movie. i didnt feel like it. so i went upstairs with some coffee n a new book. just sat on the bed under the comfy comfy comforter, sipping good good coffee n reading a good good book (so far)..my definition of relaxing really.

what can i say.. life is good..=))

alhamdulillah

recipe for a happy faran : her family members around her+petiti+coffee+a good book [occasionally she needs her handphone =) ]

somewhere over the rainbow

i dont think people stop long enough to just sit and look at the sky. i have a thing for clouds. i love looking at white fluffy clouds. with a bright blue background. reminds me again how great God is. i think all of us should take some time to appreciate these seemingly little details. it makes us remember that there are bigger things in life than just our lives. the world does not evolve around us. heh.

i love rainbows. and sunrises and sunsets. they make me happy =)

ps- yes, little details make me happy..and no,that doesnt mean i have lower taste than u, afiq =p

sharing some photos i have. the beautiful sky as seen from my room in KMJ, tangkak. the only good thing they had going there..hehe

amazing...no?

one of my favourites..sunset

another one

comel gile theses clouds

tribute to paco

my paco died last night =(
i feel guilty cos i let her out of the cage..she was too little..but i let her out cos i was feeling guilty coping her up in a cage. i never kurung my cats in cages. anyway, im glad i got to bury her behind our house. closure.

i knew i'd get attached once i named it. i knew i didnt have enuff time to give her the attention she needed. bygones?

ps- thx a lot to evryone involved. u guys know who u r. i was a tad 2 emotional. hah! must be the hormones. =p thx for the toilet-door-knocking, thx for the tissues, thx for the hugs, thx for the funny story(x klaka sgt pon) , thx for the car ride, thx for showing me the place she died (with hesitation...huh) thx for the soothing words (eventho i noe it was kinda stupid..heh) last but definitely not least..thx for the cangkul.. without which i could not let her rest in peace =D

changes - inevitable

i've changed a lot in the past year. ALOT. for the better i hope =)

when i read my old writings,it seems like im reading someone else's thoughts. its funny sometimes. and sometimes i cant believe there was a time i thought that way. my personality is still the same i guess, just my views and principles. they've somewhat evolved. heh

sat down with one of my close friends today and talked about it. sometimes my old friends dont like the changes in me. at times i feel like they wont understand even if i explain to them. i used to hate change. after school, everyone felt the need to hang on to each other. hoping we'd be best buds forever. then we move around and meet different people. different environments. we no longer talk about the same things. when we meet, there'll be lots of awkward silences. so we break them by reminiscing(spellcheck) about old times. it was sad when i couldnt talk to my best friend about everything. during school days, we used to talk to each other for 4 hours every night. even if we'd already spent the whole day together. =)

now i know change is inevitable. most of the time, the changes are for the better. we just have to try and see the best there is to it. take life as it is. embrace change. life will seem a whole lot easier that way. =)

"be the change u want to see in the world" mahatma gandhi <--so simple so true

the one with all the sudden realizations

its an amazing thing - friendship =)

its wonderful how a close friend can understand what ure saying without u saying it
how u cannot act in front of them, because they see right through u
how they love to tease and make fun of u..but you know they dont mean it
its great that i can call any one of them up in the middle of the night just to drink and talk

i used to think i was acting. i was pretending to be happy all the time. i didnt let my problems affect me. like i was wearing a mask or something. but now that i think of it, i kinda like this mask on. im thinking its already glued on and wont ever come of. and thats ok.

some people think its cool to be cold and cynical. i really think its not. why make ur life miserable when you have the choice to make it happy. i believe happiness is a choice. no one has a perfect life. its how u take it. how u deal with it. however, lotsa people like to make excuses. (myself included) we make excuses for the stupid things we do. just so we'd feel less guilty and ok doing it.

this past year,i think i've made a number of really really good friends who i can count on no matter what. they have their shortcomings. who doesnt? but they always always come through in the end. and i thank God for that. it is such a blessing =D

of cold n warm lime juice

Just came back from a long chat with a friend. Someone who I never really really talked to before this. I just know that she has certain views. Certain principles that she sticks to. And I admire people with principles. And she was definitely here when everyone else wasn’t =)

I really really needed that talk. There are times, when I feel a certain way- like Im swaying a little from what I believe in. its times like these. When I need to talk to people who can remind me again of what im made of. Sometimes I just need to talk it out. And everything will come into perspective by itself. So sometimes I just need a soundin board. Because I know these things, they just need to be heard out loud. And I cant very well talk to myself out loud kn..people already think im crazy as it is. heh.

Anyway, she tells today that I think to far away in the future. And I do, do that. I cant help it. I love to plan. I need to plan. Im not one to take risks. Im not proud of that. but I think its what keeps me safe. Yep,I play it safe. So what? better safe than sorry right? i plan things,and sometimes things don’t go as I planned them (duhh)..and I can live with that. cause I believe everything that happens, happens for a reason. And everything has its hikmahs. Might be in this world-or the next. Some people comment that by being this way, im not living life to the fullest. All the what ifs…but we’re not suppose to ask ‘what if’..everyhting that is suppose to happen—happens.. right? so I prefer to play it safe – u don’t..its an individual right..well,at least I know I cant be a businesswoman for sure. Heh

Being paranoid is also a part of me that im often told off for. I am paranoid. When im walking down the street and see a bunch of guys walking towards me, I think of a million things they might or could do,and a million other things I can do to protect myself. I visualize whats in my bag to use as a weapon. I look around to see if there would be anyone to come if I shouted for help. Its not prejudism. Its again, me being careful.maybe its because I watch to many movies. Or hearing of to many people being robbed and raped these days. It never hurts to be a little extra careful. Of course, in the end – all’s in God’ s will. If he allows it, it will happen. So what do we do? we pray that He protects us from harm . ya wali..(when I was younger, my brother and I practiced breathing techniques in case someone tries to suffocate u with a pillow. Haha! Yep. I was paranoid since young. Its doable. U can breath. U just have to relax. Don’t panic. And try acting as if u died. Fast. Huh try it. )

So that’s y ive never been serious with anyone before. I mean in relationships. I don’t want to lead anyone one. And I don’t want to pursue something that might be risky. Im not picky. Im just careful. Im allowed right? I do hope I find someone. Obviously. I just wonder who that person is. and where the hell could he be hiding for the past 21 years..

another one

this is my 4th blog i think. the first 2 were rubbish..and i just grew out of the 3rd one. i have days when i keep blogging. then there'll be a lonnnng stretch of time where i wont write anything. it comes in waves i guess. so i keep deleting my blogs. but i need to write. its therapeutic to me. sometimes i think to much and i dont want to bother anyone with my thoughts. especially at night. before going to bed, its amazing how fast my brain can work at that time.



also, i can practice my spelling here. its much better now i think. =)



i'll be entering my 2nd medical sem on monday. Alhamdullilah..times flies really really fast here. maybe its because evrythings kinda like routine already. its stressful. but enjoyable at the same time. its enjoyable stress..that a word? everyone is sleep deprived. and the stress makes me wake up in the middle of the night every 2 hours. so i get my quality sleep during the weekends. agak melampau the quality sometimes. =p



we've entered 2008! 2007 was a real blessing.one of the best years of my life. hopefully 2008 can top that. insyaAllah.



missing home. as usual. JB is to far to go home on weekends or 4 day breaks. i've come to the age where i value family more than anything. now only my mother sees me as adult enough to tell me certain things which shock me. things she kept from us before this. things she had to go through to make ends meet. to make us happy. the sacrifices. so now everytime i go home, i stay home. i rarely go out anymore with my friends in jb. i'd rather sit with my mother and just talk or watch the discovery channel with her.



i cant wait to have kids. but its really really hard to raise children. what with the world becoming uglier by the minute. it scares me to think of what my kids might have to go through in the future. i see my friends who were raised in good homes. with good religious backgrounds ..lost when they mix around with the wrong crowd. so many of them drink now. the bf-gf issues are too extended to be discussed here. they somehow think they're married. hmm..



i see these things going on around me all the time. most of them going on with my close frens. i know i need to do something. most of the time i feel helpless. like i cant really make a difference. then i realize that im making excuses for myself. alasans .