Just came back from a long chat with a friend. Someone who I never really really talked to before this. I just know that she has certain views. Certain principles that she sticks to. And I admire people with principles. And she was definitely here when everyone else wasn’t =)
I really really needed that talk. There are times, when I feel a certain way- like Im swaying a little from what I believe in. its times like these. When I need to talk to people who can remind me again of what im made of. Sometimes I just need to talk it out. And everything will come into perspective by itself. So sometimes I just need a soundin board. Because I know these things, they just need to be heard out loud. And I cant very well talk to myself out loud kn..people already think im crazy as it is. heh.
Anyway, she tells today that I think to far away in the future. And I do, do that. I cant help it. I love to plan. I need to plan. Im not one to take risks. Im not proud of that. but I think its what keeps me safe. Yep,I play it safe. So what? better safe than sorry right? i plan things,and sometimes things don’t go as I planned them (duhh)..and I can live with that. cause I believe everything that happens, happens for a reason. And everything has its hikmahs. Might be in this world-or the next. Some people comment that by being this way, im not living life to the fullest. All the what ifs…but we’re not suppose to ask ‘what if’..everyhting that is suppose to happen—happens.. right? so I prefer to play it safe – u don’t..its an individual right..well,at least I know I cant be a businesswoman for sure. Heh
Being paranoid is also a part of me that im often told off for. I am paranoid. When im walking down the street and see a bunch of guys walking towards me, I think of a million things they might or could do,and a million other things I can do to protect myself. I visualize whats in my bag to use as a weapon. I look around to see if there would be anyone to come if I shouted for help. Its not prejudism. Its again, me being careful.maybe its because I watch to many movies. Or hearing of to many people being robbed and raped these days. It never hurts to be a little extra careful. Of course, in the end – all’s in God’ s will. If he allows it, it will happen. So what do we do? we pray that He protects us from harm . ya wali..(when I was younger, my brother and I practiced breathing techniques in case someone tries to suffocate u with a pillow. Haha! Yep. I was paranoid since young. Its doable. U can breath. U just have to relax. Don’t panic. And try acting as if u died. Fast. Huh try it. )
So that’s y ive never been serious with anyone before. I mean in relationships. I don’t want to lead anyone one. And I don’t want to pursue something that might be risky. Im not picky. Im just careful. Im allowed right? I do hope I find someone. Obviously. I just wonder who that person is. and where the hell could he be hiding for the past 21 years..
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
faran.
it's wise to play safe. but it's wiser to take chances, and think ahead. some things are hard to achieve, and it may cause damages in u. but sometimes, the outcomes presented make it worth a try. HELL worth a try. it makes u wiser. it makes u stronger. more importantly. it readies u. to face life. loonggg ahead. dont let anyone stop u. just stop when ure not u anymore...thats when u know it. u have wonderful friends still, to protect u. lets protect each other and support aikido!~(wlpn tak penah masuk ahha)
sometimes, certain risks are worth taking. allowing urself to make mistakes is how u'll learn. first hand lessons in life are usually experienced u make a hella mistake.
but then of course there is this saying that i quite like..
'don't learn from your mistakes, learn from others' mistakes'.
but trust me, nothing is better than tasting ur own medicine.
hehe pinko, i have tasted my own medicine! it definitely didnt taste good. but it has shaped the person i am today.as cliche as that sounds.its the truth.
i think that there is a certain period in ur life that ur allowed to make mistakes.
but i think, at this point in my life, im out of that comfort zone. a silly mistake might cost me a lot. so i prefer to play it safe for now. =)
and nabel, thx for the words =)
i kinda agree, but for the most part,i dont think its wiser to take chances. not in a lot of things. im goin slow. call me old. hehe
Post a Comment