I have a uterus, Alhamdulillah.

i still get an overwhelming feeling everytime i see the birth of a child.somewhere between ultimate joy and ultimate disbelief that every mother goes through this process.it is indeed a huge miracle.a scary one at that.i think everyone, regardless of wether you want to be a doctor or not, should witness this battle between life and death that women all over the world go through.when u watch the blood, tears and all that energy drained out of a women in labour, only then do you really appreciate our mothers.

i like observing the fathers in the labour rooms. u have the strong ones, the ones who encourage and support their wives through the looong difficult process.praying and zikir-ing to try and ease the pain.some of them 'push' more than the wives,its a wonder they dont defecate in their pants.comel.but these are the minority.the others stand there dumbfounded and blur.with no words of encouragement.scared perhaps?

and they call women the weaker sex :p

every mother is a hero. imagine having to carry around this little parasite in you for 9 months, with the nausea and vommiting. the sleepless nights.the UTIs.the diabetes and hypertension.with all the risks of antepartum hemorrage, the death that can occur so easily. not to mention, the extreme pain in childbirth. then after delivery some of them go thru the blues.and even more sleepless nights!

and yet, after all the screaming and unbearable pain, the incision and suturing at sensitive parts, as soon as the child is thrown onto the mother's chest(yes,they throw the baby), its as if none of that happened. one mother told me she was ready for her second child right after giving birth to the first one. :)

i guess u'll never know your full capacity to love someone until you have a child.

Giving birth and mothering a child is definitely not for the weak.i guess thats why God didnt provide men a uterus. ;)

Tanggal 31 bulan 8

people are not very easy to please.no matter how hard i try, there'll always be someone not quite happy with my decisions.

it should be that i need not explain these things to you.

God,should be the only one i strive to please from now on.
Help me God,for i am weak.

its not easy to be the bigger person.
its a good month for forgiving & forgetting though,so im trying that out.

Happy merdeka?
should be a good time to be thankful for our independence.thankful that our children can go to school without us having to worry that they might not make it home. thankful that we dont have to sleep at night to the sound of bombs. thankful that no one is going to kick us out from our rightful homes and burn it down.

instead of just waving flags,singing songs,and watching parades, lets use today to reflect on all the good we have, and pray that Palestine will have them too, insyaAllah.

23:48

I attended a workshop on mental health of traumatized children during my electives. It’s probably one of the most interesting workshops I’ve ever attended and probably the only one with a wide range of participants. They were mostly psychiatrists, or people working with mentally ill children..but there were quite a few students, retired teachers, peaditricians. basically we learnt a great way to help children who’ve gone through bad experiences such as the tsunami, a broken family, MVAs or natural disasters.

I really did learn a lot today. And I met a lot of very interestin people. Even met some slightly eccentric people. I had the good fortune of learning from a very experienced woman who worked with child victims of the tsunami. Her stories were incredible. How these children suddenly become orphans and how they have to deal with the sudden,violent loss of their loved ones.

Mostly, mental health has to do with a lot of talking things out. And having someone who can listen and encourage you is a huge step towards recovery. This new system has been implemented in Western countries and has been proven effective. I, however questioned wether this sytem could be as effective in Asian countries, namely Malaysia or Indonesia, where children are so used to not having a voice. Children here are not usually allowed an opinion on things. We are programmed to listen and follow orders. We do things because we are told to, but we are not explained why we have to. Most children do not have a voice of their own. So when crisis strikes, when expressing yourself and what you’re feeling is the best way to recovery, our children find it awkward.

That’s why here in Malaysia, they make use of the child’s creative side, thank God a child’s imagination cannot be taken away from him. So making them draw out their feelings actually does a whole world of good. They tell their stories through their drawings. We can interpret what they’re trying to tell us by their choice of colour, the way they draw and even the intensity of the strokes.

i have decided that i want to be in this line of work in the future, insyaAllah. :)
(im quite sure i dont want to be an O&G specialist.heh.)

080809

For those whom Islam has embraced, the greatest witness to God's unremitting, pursuing, sustaining, and guiding love is the Quran. Like a vast magnificent ocean, it lures you deeper and deeper into its dazzling waves until you are swept into it. But instead of drowning in a sea of darkness, you find yourself immersed in an ocean of divine light and mercy. As i read the Quran and performed the prayers, a door to my heart was unsealed and i was immersed in an overwhelming tenderness. Love became more permanent and real than the earth beneath my feet ; its power restored me and made it so that even i could feel love..i was happy enough to have found faith in a sensible religion - but i never expected to be touched by such intoxicating mercy.

- Jeffrey Lang.

a fresh start

its amazing how God plans things for you. how He makes things happen without you realizing it. its very often that i forget that everything has it's hikmah. everything happens for a reason.

met someone who has changed alot in me all in a week. changed my perception of life and how its suppose to be. and changed my perception about how and why we should be of use in this world. all without meaning to do so :)

sometimes a fresh start is all you need. sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you can do it. and all you need is a little push. a little understanding. a little empowerment. getting out of your comfort zone and being reminded of your worth.

setting your priorities straight

is much easier said than done.

haih.

'the fact that you dont seem to care,
pierces me like a knife on a dare'

i forgot.

" Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom (revelations of the Quran) and the best of speech; and argue with them in the best of ways and most gracious..."

[16:125]

we forget.