!!syadiloh <-- hehe (lame)

its 12.07 am and im typing this in a cybercafe in Damansara. Sumayah (=p)wants to catch up on mail and im just tagging along. a few emails i need to reply, but curently not in the mood.

IM ON HOLIDAY PEOPLE!! =DD

I've finished 1st year..finally..Alhamdulillah =) i have definitely learnt alot. im pretty sure i grew alot too..emotionally..physically? heh..and insyaAllah..spiritually.. one thing for sure, ive changed! for the better hopefully! those who knew me during our foundation days and today..can tell u how much ive changed. when i read back my old journals, or notes i jot down in my little notebooks i have loads of, i sometimes cannot believe that it was actually me who wrote down all those things. i used to bring notebooks around religiously, just to jot down an interesting thought, or funny sayings i hear, sometimes just weird ideas i have that i dont dare say out loud (people already think im crazy as it is). i havent done that in awhile cos i no longer bring bags around. but reading back my thoughts, i laugh at how naive i sounded. i wrote how i was angry with this one person. how i was so dissapointed with how my friend turned out to be. someone i trusted. i was probably the most trusting person 1 year ago. heh.

however, im still the same me in alot of ways. im still blur about things. i still think theres good in everyone. im still the hopeful self. still the slight-feminist (kadang2 la - come on la, i spent 11 years in an all girls school. our motto was girl power.what do u expect? =p) im still defensive when it comes to family and close friends. there was a coffee stain on one of the pages,so i guess that hasnt changed. and i still hate fish. oh, and i know im still naive about certain things.

i just dont really like how ive become more 'hard' than i was. i can see people killing stray dogs now. i'll curse them but i wont write to the papers. i'll say its not worth it. and i dont talk as passionately about the evill-ness of keeping birds in small cages or clipping the wings of flamingos so they wont fly away.

i guess we'll never cease to change. lets see what happens in a year =)

i'll have to start jotting down stuff again.

times nearly up. still got more to say.haih

watched the hulk ystrdy. it was good! sad sikit. kesian the hulk. people never took the time to understand him. people who create trouble are usually the troubled ones. and most of us are so busy judging and hating them to actually try and see their problems and help them. kan?

watched the happening gak. x best! hated the ending. it was kinda scary la at times. but the whole explanation was....blahhh...

people are smoking here. busuk gile. and my throats all itchy. second hand smoke kills! out we go!

rakan2!! selamat bercuti!! =)

now whos the fool

two tags in a row. this either means i've run out of ideas to post, my brain is too full of useless things to be thinking of something useful to write about, or that all my thoughts now are in no way suitable to be displayed here. hmm. oh well.

Name: Isabella Za'faran Aisyah Bte Hisham Bukhari
Sisters: 2
Brothers: 1
Shoe size: 6/7.
Height: 168 cm. btul x tipu!
Where do you live: JB!
Favourite drinks: coffee n limau ais n air kosong
Favourite breakfast: anything with roti, all the canai2, nasi goreng,mee hoon goreng, anything la actually.
Have you ever been on a plane: Yes. dulu2. i like planes. i like the small portions of evrything =)
Swam in the ocean: yep! i like! but x suke when the ikans get to near.
Fallen asleep in school: always =p
Broken someone's heart: hopefully no?
Fell off your chair: yep! main2 ngan ong smp jatuh. i think it was in standard 6.hehe. gile times.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: err,no..mengapakh?
Saved e-mails: always. i love emails
What is your room like: lotsa books all around. lotsa pillows. radio. desk. em,tu je kot?
What's right beside you: bantal =)
What is the last thing you ate: cornetto esso! our new hangout! hah
Ever had chicken pox: yep!
Sore throat: yep
Stitches: nope
Broken nose: not yet
Do you believe in love at first sight: no such thing
Like picnics: love picnics! =)
Who was the last person you danced with: err..hmmm..?? syaz? haha
Last person made you smile: my mum yg comel. kutuk i, but in a funny way, so jadik klaka. haha
You last yelled at: wani. she's downstairs yelling at me back.heh.

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: my frens, yep
Kissed anyone: nurul n sara yg pulang ke umah.
Get sick: nope
Talked to an ex: no exes to talk to la
Miss someone: yep, missing maya gile2!
Eat: of course!
Best feeling in the world: waking up after a good sleep =)
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: my stuffed duck chewy, sometimes.
What's under your bed: beg besar
Who do you really hate: the evil ones.

Randoms :
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now: maya. xleh call! urgh!
Q: Do you have any siblings: yep! a bunch of weird but lovable ppl =p
Q: Do you want children: one day soon, iA
Q: Do you smile often: x perasan la pulak.
Q: Do you like your hand-writing:yes, i quite like it
Q: Are your toenails painted: Nope
Q: Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: anyones.as long as its sleepable. heh
Q: What colour shirt are you wearing: white
Q: What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday: makan with my hommies.
Q: I can't wait till: im back in jb.
Q: When did you cry last: tuesday
Q: Are you a friendly person: to the ppl i like
Q: Do you have any pets: yepp!!

Where is the person you have feelings for right now? – haha xtau la. somewer around.
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now? – haram!
Do you sleep with the TV on? – bole je. heh
What are you doing right now? – suppose to be reading reader's digest. tp terbace blog sara pule,
Have you ever crawled through a window? - yep! kene bukak pintu.hah
Can you handle the truth? – i want the truth!
Are you too forgiving? - sometimes i can be.
Are you closer to your mother or father? – Mak
Who was the last person you cried in front of? – i dont usually cry in front of ppl. oh, but long ago..sara n pink. haha. laughing n crying at the same time. hadoi. sara n pink were confused. crying cos i was sad my cat died, but laughing cos it was funny that i was crying about that in front of secret recipe mcm org mati laki. haha.confuse x? =p
How many people can you say you've really loved? – family, and my good frens. quite a number.
Do you eat healthy? – sgt tidak.heh
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? - enggak ada la
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? – x kot.
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? - i prefer to be alone.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time? – i senyap je slalu
Are you confident? - rily wish i am

5 things I was doing 10 years ago..
1/living with my aunty cos parents ulang alik kl
2/loving school
3/listening to stories of the adventures of raman
4/proly reading sweet valley
5/main ngan bon2!

5 things on my to-do list today
1/watch 300!
2/PBL - blaahhh
3/talk to bebel
4/ finish the digest
5/mandi lame2 since no one around

5 snacks I enjoy
1/super ring
2/cracs
3/choki2!
4/rocky yg strawberry
5/nini cokelat celup ~ celup celup!

5 things I would do if I was a billionaire
1/blanje my fam whatever they want
2/yg lain pk bile dah dpt =)

5 of my bad habits
1/buying clothes for babies that dont exist yet
2/lipat sampul2 gule2 mcm kapal~ive nearly kicked this one though =)
3/laughing at my own thoughts. org igt gile. doctor xle gile
4/reading useless stuff in magazines just because i dont wanna study
5/keeping junk for memories. not good. too much junk.

5 jobs I've had
1/student?
2/cikgu tadika
3/nanny tanpa bayaran
4/food taster ~ fired cos evrything tasted good to me
5/scientist assistant to a mad child scientist yg kurung lalat dlm umah lego nk tgk bile die mati. sadistic i know.

mangsa i tag
1/pinkooo
2/ elly belly
3/ zubeqqq
4/ kak ina!
5/ hmm..?

gile membazir mase. k la,,,,pbl time y'all!

me time

tagged by abebel =)

Soalannye berbentuk begini:

Currently -on the bed, was reading a gud book
Playing - paolo nutini
pending- mandi!
What's new? –hmmm..nothings new!
Real name – Isabella Za'faran Aisyah bte Hisham Bukhari (amik ko)
Nickname - faran, tosh,lembu, kigges,babun,za'
Married - yes
High school - SIGS! =)
Are you a health freak? - hahahah sgt tidak! im just a freak
Do you have a crush on someone? – always with the crushes =p
Do you like yourself? - most of the time yes. hah

First
Surgery - tikus putih yg xperlu dibunuh sebnrnye. hated it.
Person you see in the morning - sara..on the way to the toilet
Award –tulisan jawi! hahaha darjah 1.

Sports you join in – love netball, but havent been playing, due to sum circumstances.haih. badminton,handball!,swimming, i love track,but none of that since matrix
vacation- nak gi maldives! but i'll settle for anywer in msia. ideally wud just be me and a great friend, backpacking, lepaking on the beaches with a good book, looking for cheap and good food. taking loads of pics and having great conversations =)
Concert - never been to one.nak gi theater!
Drink - feel like coffee
I'm about to – take a bath? heh

Your future
Want kids - yes,pls =)
Want to get married – i guess u have to in order for the kids to come right. heh.
Careers in mind – peaditrician insyaAllah. a soccer mom! heh. but thats still pending la. might not even specialize. we'll see

..Which is better?
Lips or Eyes - theres something in the eyes
Hugs or Kisses - Hugs! =)
Shorter or Taller - x kisah.
Romantic or Spontaneous - A bit of both?
Sensitive or Loud – loud but sensitive.kehkeh
Troublemaker or Hesitant? - Hesitant

Have you ever
Kissed a stranger – err,no?
Drank bubbles - i love buih! esp on teh tariks =)
Carbonated drink- duhh
Ran away from home - what for? i love my home!
Liked someone younger – emm..nope. dont think so
Broke someone's heart - hmm..hope not?
Been arrested - never! my records clean =p
Cried when someone died – of cos.

Do you believe in
Yourself – most of the time. haha. sometimes i dissapoint myself though.
Miracles – Yes =)
Magic – yep. black magic and all that.
Angels - yep! =)
Is there someone you want to be with right now? – yes.

lets rebel!

i've just realized tonight that im living up to the 'no life' motto of med students. books,scls,classes,discussions,meetings, and more books. i can feel it take a toll on me, and everyone around me for that matter. i've been sleeping on my Robbin's book 2 nights in a row! which means i havent been having my daily dose of fictional reading to feed my imagination before i sleep. i still havent finished 'the reluctant fundamentalist', which is so nipis, it should have been done in a night. shame on me. what a geek! but i refuse to falter in my belief that med students can still score and have fun at the same time! at least not CUCMS med students. ok la,not score exactly, just..not fail la. heh. so tonight i shall start! memberontak!

im supposed to be preparing for the 3 classes of prof rashid 2mrw. i finished my part for the scl, and ive decided not to read the rest. tonight i'll treat myself to a night of coffee and fun books. read: FUN books. (eventhough i love robbin's cause of all the colours, its definitely not included in the FUN books list tonight)

digging my own grave, u say? oh heck! so be it! =p

join me? =)

practicing my SAQ answering skills

i was tagged by elly! hahaha this is gonna be weird i think. but its 3 am, and this is way better than embryology!

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
- honestly, i dont know. i guess it depends on the kind of betrayal kot

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
- tell him. or her. ;p

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
- sweet n simple. with only our family n close friends. and all my(our?) favourite food!
good food+ good company = happy faran ;)

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
- confused? no kot. more like curious. and in anticipation

5. What's your ideal lover like?
- ideally, the list can go on. and on. but i'l settle for a family guy yg beriman. heh.hopefully he can make me laugh as well =) i prefer the word partner instead of lover btw.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
- being loved by the person u love is best! (x menjawab soalan. i know ;p nnt kene marah ngan prof rashid. heh)

7.If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
- hmm..im not sure. depends on how much i like him i guess. and how worth it he is.

8. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
- lalalala

9. What do you want most in life?
- anything that can lead to a better hereafter, InsyaAllah

10. Is being tagged fun?
- err, weird question. i wasnt sure at first what being tagged meant. kene tanye org. haha

11. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
- going out as in dating ke? that wouldnt happen with my bestfren la.

12. Who is currently the most important person to you?
- ibuku

13.What kind of person do you think I am?
- elly? sweet,very very nice, and strong =)

14. What is the most unforgettable thing/event in your life?
- err. kantoi matrix! will never forget the day i got my results thru sms. i could only laugh at the horrendous sight

15.If the person you secretly like cannot recognise you, what would you do/how would you react?
- x mungkin dr ahmed x recognize i! i spent a whole afternoon being his fake patient! i sanggup act like i had SLE for him! ;p

16. Would you give your all in a relationship?
- i'd like to think i would. when the time comes of course.

17.If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
- hmm..i dont think its possible for me to 'fall' in love with 2 people at the same time. its hard enough falling in love with 1 person.

haha! nampak sgt xde keje! ( ade byk sbnrnye)

k, im tagging this people. you guys kene buat jugak! tau! babab!

1. sara! hahahahhahaha wajib!
2. abel! heheheh i know u will..=)
3. pinkipoooooo ..pls?hehe
4. niza! do it niza! wow us with ur lame-A plus-SAQ answrs.
5. ong bong! when ure free. i know ure busy joget-ing nowadays :)

infundibulum

its only been a week since we came back from the long awaited break. and yet so many many things have happened. im still trying to get over how things can turn 180 degrees just like that. no warning yo! huh. maybe i expected to much.but i guess, whats life without a few surprises eh? not good for the heart though. SAN rhythm interrupted.

i think i might just take up pricking people as a hobby. can? i love changing the needles and the smell of the alcohol swabs. weird?

i wish ppl would try and put themselves in other ppl's shoes before they say or do certain things. i forget sometimes. i guess u tend to forget and not really care when u're happy. not right disitu.

dr norhin said a few funny things regarding marriage the other day. and today sara came back from agama, (which she probably only attended for half an hour =p ) and said something even funnier about being married! hahahaha. dont really feel like getting married at this point. but ask me again 2mrw, my moods change faster than moja can shout kigges! ;p

Some day I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemondrops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

lets go somewhere over the rainbow!! convoy!! =)

things i hutang kat orang

- hazelnut n ice cream toast n lotsa news

- sluar pasar mlm

i x lupe! nantikan lah! =]

hazelnut coffee anyone?

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

nothing to do with how i feel right now. just love this song. =) should have been in the earlier posts ;)

i like rem.

ps- mr b, cant find what ur looking for. everythings annoyingly overpriced! i refuse to give in to the well-dressed-society-accepted sharks. i might have to search for it in putra je nanti k. might have better luck at the pasar mlm..boleh kan? =)

leaving u guys with this beautiful saying an elderly relative i hardly knew before related to me today. she wrote it in one of my favourite books~

God allows us to experience the low points of life
to teach us lessons
we could not learn in any other way.
the way we learn these lessons
is not to deny the feelings
but to find the meanings underlying them.

hmm?

oh, i like this one
~ God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. kehkehkeh!

join me for a cup of hazelnut coffee? ;) missing u wackos already